Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name
followed by "ology"
and once you've been tagged you gotta make the same note except different answers.

So I'm Back, I have been gone for quite some time and lots has happened. But instead of updating you Im just going to give you this survey.
***********FOODOLOGY******
*********

What is your salad dressing of choice?
none, salad dressing is disgusting.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
I would have to say Applebees.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Cereal

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Sausage

What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many televisions are in your house?
0, its a dorm room

What color cell phone do you have?
Blue


***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right Handed

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
wisdom teeth

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A couch, helping a friend move

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nope

************BULLSHITOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Yeah, Then I would know how long had to do everything Ive ever wanted to.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Amanda

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
No, I have enough money and I could never put hot sauce on anything again.


************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
none

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Never

Last person you hugged?
Lindsey


**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
Spring

Holiday?
None of them

Day of the week?
Sunday

Month?
May


***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
Yeah, Friends

Mood?
doing ok

What are you listening to?
Dead like me season 1

Watching?
the computer screen

Worrying about?
School and friends


***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
to the cafeteria

What's the last movie you saw?
Postal, Bad movie but still wasted time

Do you smile often?
Not as much as I should

---------------------QUESTIONS------------------------

Do you always answer your phone?
No

You love...?
Friends

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Green or Blue

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I guess it would be cherry, IDK

Do you own a digital camera?
No, But I really want one.

Have you ever had a pet fish?
No

Favorite Christmas song?
Santa Baby by Eartha Kit

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Happiness

Can you do push ups?
A few

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
nervous

Ever been in a car wreck?
no

Do you have an accent?
No

What is the last song to make you cry?
All the Same by sick puppies

Plans tonight?
Should be sleeping but I am going to watch Powerpuff girls live action and the Sailor Moon movie, Yeah!!!!

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Definitely

Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Lunch, Animal Farm by George Orwell, and Jelly Beans

Have you ever been given roses?
Yes

Current worry?
No getting my homework done

Current hate right now?
No one

Met someone who changed your life?
A couple of people

How did you bring in the New Year?
In downtown denver watching fireworks

What song represents you?
Damaged by Plumb

Name three people who might complete this?
Probable no one

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Watching Meet the Robinsons

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Get on the Computer and Why do my cuts hurt so much?

I use music kind of like a mood regulator, I lisen to music that is the opposite of my mood to help level me out. When I lisen to techno I get sleepy, it is what I use to go to to sleep each night. When I lisen 80's rock I get deppressed and calm, and when I lisen to emo or "sad" music it makes me hyper and tense. Music is my life. I have this thing where I can only lisen to a song once so I have a huge library of songs that I have only lisened to once.

The type of birthmark I have is called "port wine stain" and it is on my right hand. When I was born it covered my whole hand(other than my thumb) up to my elbow and is bright red. It changes colors in different weather, when its hot its red and when its cold it turns purple. I have had it removed, so not a lot of it is left, now it just covers my hand and its not as red as it once was.

I think that my greatest acomplishment is that I was always there for people when they needed help or someone to talk to and also I did not burden others with my problems.

The renaissance festival was fun. I was amazed with how many people dressed up and the amazing costumes they had. I did not buy anything which kind of sucks because I was hoping to get something just to show people and go "see look what I got" but I want to go back so its ok. We spent over 6 hours there and I got really tired of walking. After that we went to a local mall and hung out. That was only the second time I have been to a mall this year and one of the few times ive been in my whole life. It was not that much fun but thats because we were a getting tired of each other and so we went over to Red Robin (a restaurant). Some how we got into a conversation about cutting, it was awkward. My friends are talking about there experiences in mental hospitals and it shocked me because I would never think of my friends as the "type" of people that would cut or end up in the hospital. I kind of wanted to burst out that I also cut myself but they had all recovered or talked like they had and I did not want to get "dont do that" or something like that. Some times I wish the people around me new I cut so I wouldnt have to hide it or make up excuses for my cuts. I want support Im just afraid that if I tell them I wont get any. Part of me wants to recover from this and then theres that part that says I will never recover so why even try. Ok im done, I think Im going to try to post more, It seems to be helping that I write things out.

I have not made an entry in something like 6 months so this may be long and it may not be depending on what I want to update on right now.
(  My life right now )

What maes a hero? thats a tough question to answer, but i f I had to answer it would be that a hero is someone that always does the right thing and is not afraid to stand up for what they beleive in. A hero stands up for those that can not stand up for themselves and gives a helping hand even when its not needed. I wish there were actually people out there that lived up to my interpertation of a hero but hopefully im just not looking hard enough and there are people in this world that do good just for the sake of good and not for money or fame or something else that is benificial to them. No one ever does anything for anyone unless they get something out of it.

So this would be really long if I listed them all so I guess I will name of the ones that are the worst. I chew on my nails, welll actually just the cuticles but still I end up with nails that look gross and they hurt like a bitch. I also crack my knuckles which depending on who I talk to is either very bad for you and will lead to arthridis? or is not harmful at all. Lastly, I cut which I dont know if I would count that as a habit but I would say Im addicted which is pretty much like a habit. All of them I seem unable to stop and for te most part do not want to because they are not extremely hazardous to my health. Well other then cutting can be but I just have to keep that in check.

On monday some freshman kid killed himself. Even though I did not know him and I am a senior, so a different class, it was really deppressing because I have been feeling really suicidal for a while now and realized it could have been me people were talking and gossiping about. I dont want people to mourn me when I die, or to show fake sadness over me. When I go I want no one to go to my funeral and instead they should have a party in which only my friends can go to and have lots of fun.
Anyway, I kind of swallowed a bunch of pills(hand full of tylonol) today when I got home from school in hopes of knocking my self out ,I was really tired and depressed. I did fall asleep and slept for 2 hours before getting really sick from the pills and getting a bad headache, wierd tylonol making headaches.
Well I think thats enough for one post, bye.

My life fucking sucks

that is all I have to say about that

I do not want to go. I would rather stay home. I will be bored and lonely the whole trip. I just broke up with my girlfriend and already im dating again. I feel badbecause Im not 100% over my ex and am sort of ignoring my current one. I wish i could forget the past and move on. I want some one to love me and hold me, and I have that in my girlfriend know but i am unable to love back right now. I hope things are better in a week. p.s. I havent cut in a week or sense going out with kait. thats awsome. if only the scars went away.

I feel like I have no one I can talk to. My girlfriend broke up with me because I was depressed and I do not blame her, I would have left me to, but now I have no one to talk to that will really listen to me. So any way I wish I could just get on with my life but I cant.